Fiesta Party Mexican Style Part 2

Whew! So you made it to the party, brought the appropriate gifts, wore the right clothes,...now what? Well that depends on the kind of party.

Going to a house party? Don't be early. The party starts rocking when the people show up but Mexicans are pretty casual about time. If you play by American etiquette, you're probably thinking, "Hmm, I will get there 30 minutes early, eat some tapas, mingle..." Uh no. You will be alone with the hostess who is still cooking and hasn't changed into her outfit yet. Unless you're familiar with the Mexican way of cooking, you will be in the way. Show up 30-45 minutes after when you think the party is supposed start.

Invited to the church service before the party? They must really like you! Still, it's understandable if you don't go because depending on what the occasion is, you may be there a long, long time. Not familiar with a Catholic mass? Don't understand Spanish? Better be willing to copy someone next to you and wear something you can move in because there is a lot of kneeling and standing.

Here a some of the most common fiestas and specific survival tips.

The Birthday Party

As soon as you get there, figure out where to drop your present and grab a seat at the table. Someone will serve you a plate and you can dive in. Sometimes there is pizza for the kids but other times, they just eat what the big people get. If your kid is picky, feed them before you get there. Be prepared for lots of shrieking children running around, loud music, and some really juicy gossip.

There will be a pinata or two. The moms and kids will circle around the tree that the men have hung the pinata in and sing a cute song that tells the kid swinging the stick when his turn is over. Those that don't stop when the song ends will be dragged off the stage just like the Oscars. The main words you should try to sing are "dale, dale, dale..." pronounced "dah-lay." After that just hum until they get to the "uno,,,dos,,,tres" part which is your cue to sing "y su tiempo se acabo!" Don't worry, there will be lots of kids so you'll have plenty of time to practice. And be prepared to be shoved aside by grown women "helping" their kids get their fair share of candy. It's not quite WWE, but you'll do good to stand back.

After the pinata, goody bags are handed out to the kids filled with Mexican candy and chips. With any luck they may have also thrown in some American chocolates. Next, there will be cake and little gelatinous cups of joy with or without canned fruit. If you like tres leches cake you'll be fine, but if you have a food issue with gooey or soupy textures, just pretend to eat it. And be sure to look away after the child blows out the candles because someone is gonna smash their face in the cake. After cake, the kids get their goody bags full of candy and then once everyone is in a sugar coma, they will open presents.


The Baptism and the Presentation

Being invited to a baptism or presentation is quite an honor. There may be a special mass devoted to a child, but more likely than not, there will be several children being baptized during a regular church service. The front pews are reserved for parents, god parents (padrinos and madrinas) and family members. You will notice the traditional candle, bible, and rosary. What may surprise you is the gold necklace with a lovely pendant of La Virgen Maria, patroness of the Americas. Mexicans have a very special relationship with the Virgen so if your religion doesn't include saints and the virgen, now is not the time to talk about it.

When a child turns three years old, they are formally presented to everyone in a special mass. The children are dressed in formal outfits. The girls look like mini-princesses complete with tiara and elaborate hairstyles. The boys are often in three-piece suits with shiny shoes and slick hair. The after-party is similar to a birthday party except the young lady gets a spot light dance with all the boys her age in attendance to prep her for her 'quince' or quincenera, when she leaves childhood behind and becomes a woman. One of the highlights of these events is when the godfather and father of the child gather everyone for the coin toss. Yes, literally raining silver and green. Kids scramble, women help the kids, and everyone (hopefully) leaves with a cup full of coinage and bills. Nice, huh?


The Baby Shower

You're in for a treat if you've been invited to a baby shower. Fun and games galore not to mention food, cake, and more food await you. Don't bring your guy, but do bring your kids. No one escapes their kids at parties. The coolest thing about the baby shower are all the fun games you'll get to play. They involve toilet paper, eyeliner, baby bottles filled with juice or beer, diapers, safety pins, cooking utensils, and clothes pins. Intrigued? I bet you are, but you'll find no spoilers here. Oh, one more thing. Wear something comfortable because you may have to crawl on the floor.


We'll save quinceneras and weddings for another time. Just know that you'll be in for the long haul if you accompany the family to the mass and then the party that will rock on well into the night. And Mexico is a very diverse country with many regional customs. Depending on where your hosts are from parties could last the whole weekend and be steeped in traditions older than the hills.

Fiesta Party Mexican Style Part 1

So, you snagged an invite to a Mexican fiesta? Awesome! Here's a rundown of what you might encounter when invited to a Mexican party, and a few survival tips. JK! Well, ok, not kidding. The important thing to remember is that a real Mexican fiesta is a marathon (some are more like triathlons) and while there are always those overbooked popular kids who just pop by and leave - don't be one of them. And don't be the first person to leave either. As soon as that brave soul goes, you and everyone else may now leave.

Rules of Engagement:

1.  Bring a gift for the special person - clothes always works and if you don't know their size just guess. It's the thought that counts and they can always exchange it or re-gift it. Put it in a party bag with tissue because wrapped boxes cannot be reused.

2. Guys, bring a gift for the party - 12 pack or larger and/or a good bottle of tequila. Bring a few cases and you'll be a hero. They're gonna give you a nickname no matter what you do, so better it be Super Gringo, than Stingy Gringo.

3. Bring your appetite and wear comfortable clothes because you will be well fed like a wrestler at a Las Vegas buffet.  Unless of course you're a woman, and then you should wear something dressy. No, not going to church dressy - New Year's party dressy. Don't forget the heels because people will look you over. Manicure? Go for bright with bling. And the most important thing of all - dress for the women who will judge you, not for the guys who will steal a glance but wouldn't dare ogle because that would lead to trouble. Think classy with no high slits or low dips. Tight is ok, but not busting at the seams. And guys, don't overdress unless the party involves a misa. Then you're dressing in your Sunday best.

4. If you go with your other half, know that you will have to divide and conquer. Men hang with the guys and women hang with the other women. Ladies, when you arrive be sure to say hi to Every Woman There. When you leave you will repeat the process of bidding farewell to EWT. Men generally eat first and are served by their wives. But you're a guest so you get a pass. Just sit, smile, don't ask what you're eating, and NEVER make a face if you taste something not to your liking.

If you can nail the basics, the rest is a breeze. And if you're wondering what to do with your family, house guests, and other friends - bring them too. The more the merrier when you Fiesta-Party!

See my next post for the deets on specific types of parties.

Made in America with Mexican Parts

Do you have an obsession with Mexican food and culture? Then join the millions of others around the world who pin, post, photograph, and blog about all things Mexican.  Move beyond crunchy tacos and dive into street tacos. Those greasy, sloppy, make you feel good plates of "other" parts like lengua, cabeza, chicharron, and crispy tripas topped with cilantro, onion, and spicy salsa so good you could drink it from the bag. The bag?

Oh yeah, real street tacos can be had from little carts or taco stands steaming up the night.  And your salsa comes in a baggie similar to a mini pastry bag. Rip a hole in the corner and let the good times flow. Grab an ice cold Mexican Coke made with cane sugar for those who like their diabetes au natural. Or take a swig of your fav cerveza, which is probably Corona, the gringo beer of choice. If you're lucky, you'll score some elote too.

Now if all of these words seem foreign to you, no worries. They are foreign. Stick around and you'll be spewing Spanish like the popcorn machine at the movies. But before we get too carried away with the romanticism typically surrounding all things different, a few ground rules. Americans are technically anyone born in the Americas, north or south, but for simplicity's sake we'll refer to people born in the USA as Americans, and everyone else by their country of origin. Mexicans have woven themselves into the sarape of American history, culture, and food. And American English is a mash up of many different languages and in that mix you'll find everyday words and traditions that take us back to Mexico. I know, you probably thought English was all ours, but the Brits beg to differ. 

The title of this post came from a young man born in Cali to parents originally from Mexico.  Literally made in America with Mexican parts. Second gen Mexican-Americans, like every other group of immigrants before them, face the pressure to fit in. If you have ever had McD fries with chile, you know what I mean. Whole pages on FB are devoted to warning an entire generation of young people what happens when you try to get out of the annual tamale making party. Don't go out alone late at night because la llorona will get you.  And if she doesn't, there are plenty of other mysterious urban myths like the cucui that will take you out.

As for me, no, I am not Mexican. I'm just a frustrated sociologist who loves digging in the experiences of other cultures and sharing them with you.  I do, however, have the inside track on people from Mexico trying to live the American dream while navigating the weirdness that is American culture. Thank you relatives! No names, but you know who you are, I suppose, if you ever find this in the blogosphere. In real life I write and sing while dancing in the rain. As a recovering perfectionist, I hate typos, hanging sentences, and people who refuse to accept the fact that while it may be true that we no longer need to double-space at the end of a sentence, some of us find comfort in that familiarity. But I realized that it would probably date me if I did it so there. Single. Space.

You can expect to laugh as satirical humor is in my gene pool. Some of you may get offended, but hey, you can't please everyone. Stick around and you'll get to experience the authentic Mexican experience here in America, see how American culture has influenced Mexico, and learn why our soap operas pale in comparison to the racy, down and dirty Mexican novelas.

Hasta pronto!